Ina Coveney
Let’s start with a quick icebreaker: favorite TV show or podcast that you're obsessed with right now?

Susie Moore
I just started watching *Dark Matter*.

Ina Coveney
With Joel Edgerton? It’s fantastic! I think it’s pretty brand new. It’s really about multiverses. I’m really into it—multiple universes.

Susie Moore
Did you watch the *Spider-Man* that brought all the Spider-Men together?

Ina Coveney
I didn’t. Am I missing out?

Susie Moore
I watched it in the movie theater, and I screamed! I feel like, if you’re into multiverse stuff, that was the movie to watch. I just wanted to put that out there.

Ina Coveney
First, I want to say congratulations. I’m gonna cry. Everything that you have put out there—it’s almost like listening to a ball of sunshine.

Susie Moore
Oh, thank you!

Ina Coveney
It’s so positive, it made me so excited to read your book, and it made me so excited to be here with you. I just wanted to say congratulations. You’ve done all of this, and it has not been easy, like we’re going to be covering a little bit today. So I wanted to ask you, what is your relationship with success right now?

Susie Moore
Oh, what a good question! I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot this year because I turned 40 this year.

Ina Coveney
Congratulations!

Susie Moore
Thank you! I feel like it is a bit of a pivotal time in your life if you want it to be, if you want to reflect. And I’ll tell you that I think I used to define success as most people do: Is your revenue going up? Are you making the biggest impact? Are you creating new, exciting things? That was it. And I think that can work for a while, and you have a lot of fun doing it.

But now I think it’s so much more than money—it’s wonderful to have money and yes, go for it, get all of it—but I think, you know, having a great marriage, having good friendships, making time for your friends. We just came back from a month in Paris, just spending time together for no reason.

And now I think I have a broader view of it. Taking care of my health, I’ve never really thought about that too deeply, but I think success is when you feel good, you feel energized. And if I had to really encapsulate it into one thing, I actually believe now it’s perfect self-expression. So being you, being authentically you, telling the truth, doing what you want, not doing what you don’t want, focusing on what makes you feel good and what feels right for you.

So, self-expression and enjoying all the parts of life, not just the work.

Ina Coveney
That’s such a great answer! Now, most of us suffer from imposter syndrome, which you’ve called “that,” which I like because it sounds like a medical condition.

Susie Moore
[Laughs] Yeah, I started calling it that myself!

Ina Coveney
It’s kind of hard to imagine we’re being successful when maybe we don’t feel like our accomplishments have been plentiful, or that they are very obvious. So, comparing ourselves to other people all the time, and not feeling successful. What do you say to people who are listening right now and saying, “Well, this must be very easy for Susie Moore to say, but how am I supposed to feel successful when I have not achieved that kind of level yet?”

Susie Moore
It’s so interesting, this imposter syndrome conversation. I think it’s big. There are imposter syndrome coaches, and there’s so much conversation and content around it. I always think to myself, if I don’t always feel a little bit like an imposter, I don’t know if I’m going for it. Like, I think I’m probably coasting, probably just taking it a little too comfortably in my life.

So, feeling a bit uncomfortable all the time, I think, is really healthy and really natural. And how do we expand? It’s not from doing the same things all the time.

So the way I think about imposter syndrome is practical: If you are nervous, for example, to be a public speaker—many people are—you do three speeches, and then you are a speaker. If you are scared to run a marathon and think you could never do it, you run a marathon, then maybe another, and now you’re a marathon runner. Where’s the fraud?

The evidence is that you’ve done the things. And I’m so open, Ina—I have no formal qualifications. So I’ve gone for it by believing in myself, believing that the world is a generous one, that I’m meant to be here, I’m allowed to be here, and just following what feels right for me. And feeling a bit nervous, I think that sometimes we think imposter syndrome might not be that—it might just be our own growth. We’re here to be a little bit uncomfortable all the time, and good for us.

Ina Coveney
Good for us! I loved—I actually read that in your book *Let It Be Easy*: if you’re not feeling a little bit of imposter syndrome about something, then are you really going for it? And I just lived through that. This is my first time sitting down to do an in-person interview, and I’ve been interviewing for years—I’ve been podcasting for years—but I’m gonna tell you, the imposter syndrome in the past 48 hours has been insane.

Susie Moore
Yes!

Ina Coveney
Anybody else would have said, “Maybe these feelings are a sign that this isn’t for me, that I’m not supposed to do it.” And I kept telling myself, “There’s literally nothing that I’m about to do that I have not done in some way, shape, or form before.” So thank you for that lesson because that’s what I kept repeating in my head: This is how it’s supposed to feel. Nobody’s trying to hurt you. Nobody’s trying to tell you that you don’t belong here. This is exactly what uncomfortable action is supposed to feel like.

Susie Moore
Yes! And why are we so afraid of being uncomfortable? What’s so wrong with that? It’s not going to kill us.

Ina Coveney
And now I’m an in-person podcast host, as of right now! Everything’s fine.

Susie Moore
Yes, exactly! You’re gonna be fine! Everything’s safe. I think so much of what we build up in our minds—we think, “Maybe this is a sign, intuition, I shouldn’t be doing something.” No, you’re on the right track.

Ina Coveney
There was also a feeling of expansion. Even though it’s scary, there’s still a feeling of “Oh, but I want that.” So, I think if you feel that way, you’re on the right path, and just keep going because the next step will keep being revealed. I’m really curious to know—how does imposter syndrome present itself in your life now? Having published multiple books, being at a place where you know what uncomfortable feels like, what does imposter syndrome look like for you now?

Susie Moore
It’s so interesting because I don’t feel like I feel it necessarily. I know this is new and different, and I’ll reframe it: This is kind of exciting and different. And I just know I’m going to be okay, and even if there’s a result I don’t love or I’m not happy with, I will still be okay.

If something happens—I think this happens to us in life—we go for something, we don’t get what we want, something disappoints us, it’s okay. There isn’t a wrong turn necessarily; it’s just your path. And the way I think about success and failure is, they’re the same road. It’s one road—success is just further down that road. So why would every single thing be easy and perfect and completely comfortable all the time?

Ina Coveney
Why did we ever expect that?

Susie Moore
Some discomfort is appropriate. Like I said, if I don’t feel slightly uncomfortable almost all the time—not every day where I can’t sleep, but almost all the time—if there’s not something making me go, “Oh, I’ve got this thing coming up” or “Oh, I’ve got this goal,” I don’t know if I’m really living my life. Maybe I’m selling myself short.

Ina Coveney
Yeah, so the thing we think is negative—it sounds like having trust in yourself has to kind of be a part of it.

Susie Moore
Yes! I knew that I wasn’t going to crumble in this. Look, I mean, how wonderful—I knew that it was going to be prepared. I knew I was going to meet you, and it was going to be wonderful. I knew about myself that I was going to pull through, that I was going to do it, because I’ve proven that to myself many times.

Ina Coveney
Yes, having trust because you

’ve done the thing before.

Susie Moore
Yes, exactly.

Ina Coveney
This is something I also read a little bit in your book, about giving yourself the chance to watch yourself do things over and over. Can you tell us how that’s impacted you—how realizing this is not a complete unknown, because you know yourself, helped you?

Susie Moore
What’s interesting is the word confidence has a Latin origin, *confidere*, meaning to trust. So that’s all confidence means—I trust myself. And that comes through practice. It’s something that you earn in a way.

So, this isn’t the first time you’ve been uncomfortable, right? It’s not the first time you’ve done something for the first time, or the first time you took a risk, so to speak. They pile up, and you kind of get to know yourself more intimately. You trust maybe not the exact next step, because it’s new, but you know, “I’ve failed before.” I prefer to say, “had unwanted outcomes,” before. But I’ve been okay. I got something from that too. Why are we taking it all so seriously? I really think if we were just more willing to laugh, be a bit lighter about things, not be so serious, we’d also be a bit more creative, a bit more in touch with ourselves, and we’d have a lot more fun.

Ina Coveney
Everything feels so high stakes all the time. When you talk to people, it’s like, “Oh, you’re going to do this? It’s gotta be that.” There’s so much pressure that we put on ourselves for something to be a certain way.

Susie Moore
Exactly! I don’t know if we could be a bit less attached and a bit more playful.

Ina Coveney
So, if I’m hearing you right, you don’t think it has to be that serious?

Susie Moore
No! Most things aren’t that serious. Even if you make a mistake, it’s all correctable.

Ina Coveney
Okay, because you brought it up, we need to get into this. You just said, “We don’t have to take everything so seriously.” While I was reading your book, you reminded me so much of a character from a TV show. I’m hoping you’re familiar with her. Did you ever watch *Schitt’s Creek*?

Susie Moore
No, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about it!

Ina Coveney
There’s a character in the show, her name is Twyla, and she works at a café. She’s just like a ball of sunshine, always positive, always saying good things and making people feel good. But throughout the show, she drops little things that make you realize she’s had quite a traumatic childhood. They use it for humor—she’ll mention how her father was an alcoholic, or she’ll say something that’s like, “Wait a minute, that doesn’t quite fit.”

Susie Moore
Yes, I’ve heard about her!

Ina Coveney
So, as I was listening to your book—because it was important to me to hear your words as you were reading your own story—I had the same feeling. There was all of this sunshine, and then suddenly I’d hear words like “domestic abuse shelter,” or “alcoholism” or “picking up my father’s vomit off the floor.” And this is where we start to get a little bit real, because I started to think, “There’s something more here.” You mentioned the word anger several times throughout the book.

I was a mother of two young children when the pandemic happened, and they shut down all the schools. So, if anyone knows what anger is, it’s me. Every time you mentioned the word anger, I was taken back to that time. So, first of all, does this comparison to Twyla resonate with you?

Susie Moore
Yes, it does! Now that you mention it, someone else told me about that character too! I don’t know her, but she sounds awesome. But yes, people are often shocked when they get to know me on some level, and then I tell them a bit about my life. It’s surprising because I guess you’re meant to look or act a certain way, or you’re meant to be depressed or dealing with a lot of issues.

But I’ve worked through so much, and I love self-help. I’ve loved it for so many years. I think it’s the best and most important thing we can invest in—ourselves, our minds, knowing how it all works, empowering ourselves to make good decisions and love ourselves. But yeah, the reality is, I didn’t choose the life I had, but I recognize the gift in the early challenge. I had to learn a lot quickly. When you don’t have stable parents, and you move around a lot, you have to rely on yourself. That’s been a huge gift to me.

I teach self-reliance—I love it. But how else would I know? How else would I even have this sense of independence or capability? So, I think we all have stuff to work through, especially if we don’t feel functional in our lives. For me, I had a lot of anger, but when we can be patient and soothe ourselves, understand ourselves, we can take what we want from our lives and leave the rest. We weren’t able to choose the life we were given, but we can take what’s good for us and leave the rest.

Ina Coveney
Yes! For people who are listening who haven’t read your book, can you tell us something from that time before all the personal development happened? Is there a story that sticks out to help us understand the environment you grew up in?

Susie Moore
Yes, well, living in a domestic violence shelter for women is a very distinct memory for me. There were a lot of families there. If you were a boy at the age of 18, you couldn’t stay anymore because it had to be a safe space for women and their children. Some people stayed for months, others just for a night or two. Often, they’d go back home to their situation. I remember seeing all these different women, and even as a young kid, before I discovered self-help, I remember thinking, “These women are so strong and brave, even just showing up with their kids in the middle of the night.”

I wished they could see themselves for what they really were, instead of being afraid. I know it’s hard not to be afraid in that situation because everything is changing, but I just wanted to make people happy, help them realize they could start again.

Ina Coveney
I love that. What’s interesting to me is that when I asked you to look back, your response was about observing other people—what they needed, what you could do for them. But you didn’t talk about what you were going through or what you needed. Do you think you ever asked yourself what you needed?

Susie Moore
I think early on, I knew I wasn’t going to get what I needed. It just wasn’t available. So, I quickly acknowledged that and did my best. Sometimes, focusing on others is survival. It feels better than focusing on what you’re not going to get. So, it’s not that I didn’t have needs—they just weren’t going to be met. I chose to find what I could control and make the best of it.

Ina Coveney
Where do you think that came from? Teenagers are notoriously focused on themselves. What made you start focusing on others, knowing you couldn’t get what you needed?

Susie Moore
I remember this one encounter. We lived on donations—clothes, toys, from the church. My mom made us go to church, and one Sunday School teacher said, very matter-of-factly, “Everyone is equal. Everybody is loved equally.” And I internalized that. I thought, “Well, if we’re all equal, then the girl at school with the nice clothes, nice parents, and a nice house is the same as me.”

If everyone believed that, we’d all feel better about ourselves. I think that message stuck with me—I never questioned it after that.

Ina Coveney
That’s such an incredible lesson to learn so young! I sometimes ask my friends with kids if they instill that same sense of equality. It really helped you, didn’t it?

Susie Moore
Yes, absolutely. If everyone is equal, there’s no reason to question your place in the world.

Ina Coveney
If someone’s listening right now and has had a rough childhood, what do you think they need to be thinking about right now?

Susie Moore
I believe the core of all suffering is thinking we’re separate from each other, or from our source, whatever we believe that source to be. We didn’t ask to be here, but we are here, and that’s no accident. We deserve it. So, the point of your life is to enjoy it, not to fix yourself. You’re worthy of love, whether you like it or not.

Ina Coveney
That’s such a beautiful message. I love how you tie it all together with not taking life so seriously. Like, we’re meant to enjoy this.

Susie Moore
Yes! That’s why I wrote *Let It Be Easy*—

not *Make* it easy, but *Let* it be easy. What if our natural state is joyful? What if we’re meant to be less serious, more playful, and have more fun?

Ina Coveney
Exactly! What’s the biggest misconception people have about you?

Susie Moore
That I’m shallow because I’m so bubbly. People sometimes think that means there’s no depth to me.

Ina Coveney
I see nothing but depth in you! I don’t understand that misconception at all.

Susie Moore
Thank you! I think we all have misconceptions about us, and it’s fun to play with them sometimes. Just don’t be attached to them.

Ina Coveney
If everyone listening had to do something in the next 24 hours, what would you tell them to do?

Susie Moore
Eavesdrop on yourself. Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself for one day. Notice how much is negative—how you look, how tired you are, what you didn’t do right. Just notice it, and you’ll start to see why you feel the way you do. Then you can start to shift that.

Ina Coveney
Can you tell us where people can find more of your sunshine?

Susie Moore
Head to becomeyourownlifecoach.com—that’s a great place to start.

Ina Coveney
I’ll put that link below. Thank you so much for this conversation, Susie. It’s been amazing!

Susie Moore
Thank you, Ina! This was wonderful. I’ll do it again anytime!

Ina Coveney
Thank you!