Ina Coveney: Josie Falcon, so good to see you. Thank you so much for doing this.

Josie Falcon: Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here.

Ina Coveney: Before we start, can you please tell everybody who you serve and what you do right now?

Josie Falcon: Sure. I am a podcaster with a podcast called Heavy Pages: A Divorce Journal, and I’m a separation survival coach. I help women who are dealing with an unwanted separation or divorce.

Ina Coveney: Now, if everybody goes to your podcast right now, they're going to see you recounting what you went through in your divorce and reading from your journal, which was contemporaneous. If you’re going through a separation or know someone who is, just give them the Heavy Pages podcast. You get into some very personal things there. To start, can you please share with everybody what your divorce story was? Then, we’ll get into how you got into coaching. Tell us a little about your background.

Josie Falcon: Sure. My background is that I am Puerto Rican. I’m actually the first member of my entire family to be born in the continental United States because my parents moved from Puerto Rico while my mom was pregnant with me. I think that’s really cool—I was the first, and everyone else followed afterward.

Ina Coveney: Which brings us to where your podcast actually begins, with your parents. Coming from a Puerto Rican background, it’s a Catholic culture. I grew up with it, you grew up with it. How did growing up in such a religious family affect you?

Josie Falcon: It affected me greatly. I believed in everything they taught me. I had what I call the "Catholic guilt." I was always scared of eternal damnation, so I followed the rules as best I could to be right with God and the Virgin Mary, who was a very big deal in my family. I really tried to live by their values, but it didn’t quite work out that way.

Ina Coveney: Let’s talk about that. This is such an integral part of your story. We can’t even talk about why you do divorce coaching without addressing your own separation survival story. It really started when you were young, navigating relationships while growing up with those cultural and societal norms. For example, you don’t go to your boyfriend’s apartment—what would people say if they saw you leaving? Can you share what it was like having relationships under those conditions?

Josie Falcon: I wasn’t allowed to have boyfriends. They didn’t give me a specific age when I’d be allowed—I just wasn’t. At 16, I had my first boyfriend. I told my parents, and they were like, “Okay,” but I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere with him. I couldn’t go to the movies or even see him outside the house. They did let him come over once, but that relationship only lasted two months. He wanted to go out, do things typical 16-year-olds do, and I couldn’t. He broke up with me. I cried, but I also thought, “I know my worth, and if he wants to go, that’s fine.”

Ina Coveney: I’d love for you to tell us how you eventually met your future husband.

Josie Falcon: I met him on this little thing called America Online in 1997. Back then, it was such a new and exciting thing. People were genuine, just looking to connect. We started chatting in a group, and then he asked if I wanted to go to a private chat room so we could talk more easily. From there, we moved to phone calls since he didn’t live in my state. He mailed me a letter with a photo of himself—this was before you could just turn on a camera or send a picture instantly. We got to know each other that way, and I really felt like I fell in love with him before we met in person. He was in a tough situation, and I thought, “I can save you.”

Ina Coveney: Let’s pause on that feeling of wanting to save someone. This is something so many people have experienced. You look at someone and think, “They haven’t met someone like me who can show them what life could be like.” But it can get us into trouble when we enter relationships thinking we’re going to save the day. Can you share more about that dynamic and what you’d say to someone who might be doing the same?

Josie Falcon: I wouldn’t say it was pity—I loved him—but I believed that love conquers all, which isn’t true. I should’ve listened objectively to what he was saying and asked myself if he was someone who needed to work through his issues first. The conversation should’ve been about therapy, encouraging him to address his trauma rather than thinking my presence would fix everything. Love is powerful, but it’s not enough to heal deep issues. If they’re not ready or willing to work on themselves, you can’t save them.

Ina Coveney: That’s such an important realization. So, your boyfriend moves to Florida for you, and you move in together. How did that decision come about?

Josie Falcon: I didn’t initially plan on moving in with him. My parents said I wasn’t allowed to go to his apartment. By this time, I was 21 and tired of their restrictions. I told them, “I’m not going to lie to you. If I can’t visit his apartment, I’ll move in with him.” They were not happy. My mom stopped talking to me, and my dad helped me move but refused to meet him.

Ina Coveney: That must have been so tough. Did your parents eventually get over it?

Josie Falcon: They did, but it was a process. My dad didn’t talk to me for a while, which hurt. When my son was born, though, he fell in love with his grandson, and things got better.

Ina Coveney: Let’s fast forward. You eventually get married. When did you start noticing the cracks in your relationship?

Josie Falcon: Honestly, I think we both knew early on that we wouldn’t have stayed together if we hadn’t gotten pregnant. There were issues we ignored because we were focused on being a family. Over time, his unhappiness grew, especially as he saw his friends living carefree lives while he was supporting a family.

Ina Coveney: What was the breaking point?

Josie Falcon: He reached it before I did. He asked for a break, and eventually, he wanted out. It was devastating because I had decided this was my life, but now, I’m grateful he made that decision.

Ina Coveney: How did you begin to rebuild yourself?

Josie Falcon: Therapy was key. I started by reconnecting with who I was before the marriage. It was a slow and painful process, but I worked on building myself up and rediscovering my self-worth.

Ina Coveney: For women listening who might be going through this, what are the top three things they need to focus on?

Josie Falcon: Focus on yourself. Find a therapist you connect with. Challenge yourself to do things alone, like eating out by yourself—it’s empowering. And most importantly, work on loving yourself and believing in your own worth.

Ina Coveney: Why coaching? What made you decide to help other women?

Josie Falcon: After my divorce, I worked regular jobs, but during COVID, I revisited my journal and thought it would make a great book—or podcast. Once I started podcasting and sharing my story, the response was incredible. I realized I could use my experience to help other women.

Ina Coveney: For women thinking about sharing their stories through a podcast, what advice would you give?

Josie Falcon: Do it, but protect yourself. You can use a different name or avoid showing your face if that makes you more comfortable. Be authentic, but only share what feels right for you.

Ina Coveney: Josie, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Where can people find you?

Josie Falcon: My podcast is Heavy Pages: A Divorce Journal, and you can find it on all streaming platforms. I’m also on Instagram at @heavy_pages_podcast and TikTok at @heavy_pages_podcast.

Ina Coveney: Thank you for being here. This was amazing, and I wish you all the best.

Josie Falcon: Thank you, Ina. It was great to be here!